This day, also called as Valentine’s Day, famous for several reasons, mostly because it gives sellers a chance to sell, buyers – a reason to buy, and receivers a reason to be happy with the receipt. In all flavors, this day has become a bit famous in a sense everybody wants to talk about it.
Although enough said, this does put one into thinking- ‘who’s thy Valentine?’.
There’s always gotta be someone who gives you strength, fulfils your dream, makes you put a genuine effort through, is with you all the time when you need it – yeah – you guessed it, for me it was – ‘good old work’. People may let you down but the moment you start thinking work, everything, all issues fade away and it’s just that, that counts.
This year was no different, just finished work, cooked some dinner, went to gym to complete a workout (nice to see many familiar faces still there) and then hit the sack. Did I do anything different last year? No? Would I do anything different next year? Don’t know. Am I bothered by it? Never, in-fact it’s a reason to be happy frankly.
‘Why happy though?’ – well, to understand this, one must understand the complexity of a relationship and what a relationship entails. It’s a bit odd, but every relationship starts on a very positive note, wherein usually there are some great synergies and vibes but over the period of time, many of them go down. The question is what changes?
Maybe put it another way, every relationship has some work put into it, not just from one side but by both. Before that, let’s understand some basic facts.
Actions speak louder than words. It’s simple – if you care, you will find time, maybe little time but you will. It’s not just for one person but both and it works only if both are doing it. You may give all the proofs and conversation to prove a point but the essential thing here is that mathematics never fails, human behavior can be easily tracked in terms of what is being actioned. Of course, you don’t need to love somebody to care for them but it’s never the other way around. Many go into the depth of causals what they expected and what they didn’t get but fail to ask the question to themselves, did they do enough? Were they doing it in a way which made the other person understand? Did the other person notice? It’s never big things or big promises, it’s never other things like intimacy in bedroom - all of this goes away with time, but the mental connection and the effort to work towards it, that’s what counts. This is true for other types of relationships also to some extent but especially important here.
This reminds me of a real-life story I heard other day on npr wherein the girl shattered in an accident crushed by an 18 wheeler in coma, came back only because her partner made that effort. It might look one sided here but it’s not cos the girl in question came back from the dead when family had lost hope, is still on path to recovery, so effort is key, anywhere, but most of us don’t understand and fail to bother. This continues in the life span and one day things which are keeping each other going just are enough to go ahead together, it’s the little things – always.
So before going into a relationship, and committing, the question which one should ask themselves is – did they give enough & did they get enough? Most of the relationships are either one sided or a compromise because we start failing to look at small things and start judging. But the fun part here is that each relationship triggers neurotransmitters which release stress hormones help one prepare for a breakup. So, whether one plans or not, the body prepares much earlier.
Hence, conclusion here is that it always makes sense to not fall into a relationship but if you do, make sure it’s not just one sided but mutual, the little things matter and best case if this is not what it is then keeping away from it always helps the mind & body.
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