V Day ... 2022, what's hidden in it?

This day, also called as Valentine’s Day, famous for several reasons, mostly because it gives sellers a chance to sell, buyers – a reason to buy, and receivers a reason to be happy with the receipt. In all flavors, this day has become a bit famous in a sense everybody wants to talk about it.  

Although enough said, this does put one into thinking- ‘who’s thy Valentine?’. 

 

There’s always gotta be someone who gives you strength, fulfils your dream, makes you put a genuine effort through, is with you all the time when you need it – yeah – you guessed it, for me it was – ‘good old work’. People may let you down but the moment you start thinking work, everything, all issues fade away and it’s just that, that counts. 

This year was no different, just finished work, cooked some dinner, went to gym to complete a workout (nice to see many familiar faces still there) and then hit the sack. Did I do anything different last year? No? Would I do anything different next year? Don’t know. Am I bothered by it? Never, in-fact it’s a reason to be happy frankly.

 

‘Why happy though?’ – well, to understand this, one must understand the complexity of a relationship and what a relationship entails. It’s a bit odd, but every relationship starts on a very positive note, wherein usually there are some great synergies and vibes but over the period of time, many of them go down. The question is what changes? 

 

Maybe put it another way, every relationship has some work put into it, not just from one side but by both. Before that, let’s understand some basic facts. 

Actions speak louder than words. It’s simple – if you care, you will find time, maybe little time but you will. It’s not just for one person but both and it works only if both are doing it. You may give all the proofs and conversation to prove a point but the essential thing here is that mathematics never fails, human behavior can be easily tracked in terms of what is being actioned. Of course, you don’t need to love somebody to care for them but it’s never the other way around. Many go into the depth of causals what they expected and what they didn’t get but fail to ask the question to themselves, did they do enough? Were they doing it in a way which made the other person understand? Did the other person notice? It’s never big things or big promises, it’s never other things like intimacy in bedroom - all of this goes away with time, but the mental connection and the effort to work towards it, that’s what counts. This is true for other types of relationships also to some extent but especially important here. 

 

This reminds me of a real-life story I heard other day on npr wherein the girl shattered in an accident crushed by an 18 wheeler in coma, came back only because her partner made that effort. It might look one sided here but it’s not cos the girl in question came back from the dead when family had lost hope, is still on path to recovery, so effort is key, anywhere, but most of us don’t understand and fail to bother. This continues in the life span and one day things which are keeping each other going just are enough to go ahead together, it’s the little things – always. 

 

So before going into a relationship, and committing, the question which one should ask themselves is – did they give enough & did they get enough? Most of the relationships are either one sided or a compromise because we start failing to look at small things and start judging. But the fun part here is that each relationship triggers neurotransmitters which release stress hormones help one prepare for a breakup. So, whether one plans or not, the body prepares much earlier.  

 

Hence, conclusion here is that it always makes sense to not fall into a relationship but if you do, make sure it’s not just one sided but mutual, the little things matter and best case if this is not what it is then keeping away from it always helps the mind & body. 

 

Amazing Experiences – Part 1 - 2022 Begins...

New Year, new start & new resolutions – well, for me it was a bit different, because there were some old resolutions that had to be worked out yet. Btw – no offence to those who wind up early on all current & next year’s resolutions but sometimes you have got to evaluate & re-assess. It’s not a race but the way stuff is accomplished by understanding the various factors playing in. Some people push through easily, well, if a resolution is on a physical level, if you’ve got a good strong body, no dependencies & determination, you’ll always push through, the challenge really comes into play when you don’t have one or more of the above, you are with family who pushes you on other activities and then you have to ‘find time’. 

 

Well, for me, luckily, it wasn’t any of the above but more on re-accessing my performance with some combination of factors in play. I started my journey early morning to my gym with the goal of completing 45-50 laps of swim. This was purposely planned as covid restrictions had kept my swim levels to minimum for the whole last year. When I reached the gym pool, I was surprised to find few people in the pool. Usually it is a bit busy, so it was good for me (a +ve point). While I was approaching the swim lane, the lady said she was going to come out, which was another +ve point. While on her way out, she mentioned, water is a bit chilly, which I took casually because I had been to this pool a number of times and would have been able to comprehend the chill factor involved. Though, this changed very quickly as I got into the water.

 

It was cold, reminded me of the winter swim competition training, I pushed through and thought a couple of laps would warm up. 2 laps in – I was already feeling good, then on 3^rd lap, I noticed, I started losing breath half-way. My body was trying to balance the energy used to generate heat and provide for the motion forward. I knew, if I continued like this, I might collapse unconscious. While this was going on, 2 people came in for the swim and left after doing a round or two, not an encouragement factor though. So, the whole experience got me thinking now. 

 

I went to one side of the pool, and took a pause, starting to re-evaluate my goal criteria now, should I continue or call it quits and come back again? I had to reconsider. I knew – there was one factor which was concerning and 2 which were positive, so I started to shorten my goal criteria, initially – I set my goal to 10 laps max. At this point, I was probably not sure, whether I would be able to continue even 2 laps forward. Took a deep breath and swam to the end of the pool, the cold water wasn’t allowing me to keep my head under, so I strained to the point where I could just loose the breath but keep myself calm and then pushed through. Gladly, it worked. With a close to 6 feet deep-end, there was a choice of hanging on or continuing back. 

Well, for one thing, I wasn’t feeling that tired with this simple routine that I did and felt when the water was warm, so I continued. 

 

Few laps in and I look at the lap counter on my watch, it was 11 laps already. Now, I had to re-assess my goals again. Usually, my warms up focus on 20 laps cycle and then other ones come on the top of it. So, I decided, let’s not put a lot of risk in play and stick to 20 laps for now. Starting my lap count again, I continued with the swim, taking a short pause between 4 & 5 laps. To my surprise, I did see few more people come in and then leave the pool, but I wasn’t noticing enough as I was focusing on completing my warm-up lap journey.

 

Once, my warm-ups were done, I started feeling a bit more warmed up (as they say it) & energetic. Took a quick look around & could see 2 people on the treadmill, did notice the girl so was continuously running from sometime, at a fast pace. Well, some positive inspiration in place, I thought, let’s reduce the goal in half – maybe 25-30 laps. With that said, I had to factor in the mix, to cool myself down, so I gave another 5 laps and then did some backstrokes. Finally, this took me to 30 laps. Once, that was done, I was feeling good to go until 40, so I continued. 

 

On completion of 40 laps, I recollected that my swim journey didn’t have any butterfly stokes in the mix, so I started with them and tried to complete 45. Once one 45, I was feeling a bit more confident and put my goal to 60 laps max. That said, I continued, needless to say, water was not warming up, and I could feel the cold current brushing up again my body, causing my heart rate to rise but I tried to slow it down and then speed up, which kind of worked. While I was nearing 60, I noticed another lady come up in the pool and start swimming which kind of caught my attention as she was kind of not affected by the cold water. 

 

Well, that probably gave me some boost and I continued, but remembered, I had to clock it up so that I can continue with my next goal, so I continued until 71-72 and stopped there. Gladly, the lady too came out 2 laps before my finish, but the good thing was my goal of the day was completed.

 

So, the – take away here is – that we should always re-assess our goals and methods to accomplish them, taking risks which work out best and not overdoing it anytime. Ultimately, my goal was exceeded by 10 laps but then it was kind of a start target for next one so one must always keep that expectations matter.